Tour de fat
by Sum1luvsthis
Summary: Princess Peach finds herself eye to eye with her arch nemesis Princess Daisy. A battle of the best will decide who is the ultimate princess and who goes home empty bellied.


Our story begins with a rather gloomy looking 900 lb Princess Peach; waiting at the bus depot. It was a somber stormy evening and the bus had already made its scheduled rounds for the night. Having nothing better to do with herself, she looked out into the distance to see if just by chance any bus would arrive. Out in the distance she could see many trees blowing ferociously, snared by the wind they had no choice but to perform wildly as the storm intensified throughout the night. A windchime could be heard faintly from the now closed bakery just outside the bus depot. It pealed violently as the wind had begun to pick up more speed. It was at that moment Princess Peach knew she had to find refuge. Off in the obscured remoteness of the night an engine roared noisily. "Oh thank the heavens," Princess Peach exclaimed to herself. It was a bus, but where did it come from? She thought to herself a minute as the bus came to a screeching halt. Where was this bus going? Did someone know she was here all alone and send someone out just for her? The wind began howling menacingly even more stridulant than before. She didn't have time to ponder the idea any longer. The doors swung open invitingly and a man could be seen driving the bus from afar. The man lowered the wheelchair accessible platforms and Princess Peach stepped gingerly aboard them. The platform began to hum and in just a few seconds Princess Peach was hoisted to the doors of the bus. The bus driver pulled a chain from behind the drivers seat and wrapped the curious princess with it. This was not going to be easy he thought to himself. The chain was fastened and the man began to turn the crank. The Princess was then forced through the tiny cramped doors leading into the bus. There was a sudden thud and the man had stopped cranking the engine hoist. He then unfastened the heavy metal chains and sat down again. He pointed to the miniature metal box that was posted proudly next to him. Princess Peach paused for a minute and peered dumbfounded at the box. Feeling insulted she replied "do you even know who I am?" The bus driver looked up into the face of the distraught woman who stood towering before him. Tattered from the storm and soaking wet from the heavy downpour. He pondered a moment while he looked at her. "No I don't know who you are my lady, but if you are going to ride this bus you are going to have to pay" answered the bus driver. The princess glared brutally at the man dumbfounded and crazed like. She reached into her soaking wet bra to pull out some coins she had stashed away in case of emergencies like this one. She then placed them into the metal tin and then headed down the aisle to her seat. Just then, sitting in the rows of seats lined ahead of her, she spotted another passenger aboard. She recognized the brown hair and child like hairpins that sat aukwardly atop her bulbous head. It was none other than Princess Daisy. She had been eating a snack or something like that for crumbs littered her triple chinned bulky face as she looked up curiously. Wrappers upon wrappers of snickers and ice cream bars littered the metallic floor. It was almost as if she were a bear getting ready for hibernation. Her hair was a little matted and frizzy, probably from the humidity of the storm. Princess Peach looked at herself through the reflection of a nearby window and gasped. She was a total wreck and immediately began smoothing down her golden blond hair and adjusting her crown. The bus driver then stared at her blankly and said "please my lady, take your seats we are about to depart." The bus then started moving and Princess Peach shuffled her way into one of the seats in the back. She sat directly behind Princess Daisy and scoweled sorely at the back of her now perfectly quaffed hair. Princess Peach heard the sound of a foil wrapper being unwrapped and the smell of chocolate filled the air. Her stomach began to growl she had not eaten anything for about an hour and she had begun to feel the notions of fatigue setting into her body. She fondled her bra a little and searched for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich she had but there yesterday. As her search continued she noticed that Princess Daisy had started to scoff her chocolate bar; as the pronounce sounds of chewing and smacking permeated the air. It was then that Princess Peach had remembered that she had already eaten her sandwich while waiting outside the bus depot. The sounds of crinkling foil now overspread the entirety of the moving bus. Annoyed and famished she cleared her throat as to announce the obvious vexation of the wrappers. Princess Daisy suddenly stopped, turned around and waved the bar joyfully at Princess Peach. Taunting her it seemed with the chocolate bar; she smirked at her playfully and continued eating. Princess peach wailed loudly "where is the dining cart?" The bus driver peered through the rear view mirror at her and replied "this is a bus my lady, not a restaurant." Princess Peach then questioned the bus driver "then where is she getting all this food from?" The man retorted "I honestly don't know my lady, she has been eating for the last 5 hours since the start of my shift." The princess then sighed heavily somewhat confused and defeated and continued to stare at Princess Daisy angrily. Princess Daisy then shot the bird at Princess Peach while still eating her nearly half gone chocolate bar. It was then that Princess Peach had lost all values and morals as a princess and began shouting at her. "Think your so tough?" Blurted Princess Peach. "Well if your such big stuff why don't you just stand up and show me?" Princess Daisy turned menacingly towards her. Candy wrappers and popcorn crumbs cascaded down her oily stained dress. Scattering themselves on the polished metallic floor the bus driver lay quiet, not wanting to get involved too much into the apparent scuffle. Princess Daisy then shoved a muffin down her throat filling it to the brim and chewing carelessly. Princess Daisy watched the famished princess gawk in horror at the atrocity which stood before her. The bus driver continued to stay quiet trying so desperately hard not to be noticed. Princess Peach then lifted up the bottom portion of her dress exposing her rolls of fat that hanged over her torso and began to shake It vigorously side to side. Fat rolled like an angry whirlpool up and around. Princess Peach smiled joyfully as Daisy sat motionless. Just then Princess Daisy sat down Indian style and rummaged through her cleavage for yet another chocolate bar. Unwrapping it and inserting the whole thing down her throat without even chewing. It disappeared just as quickly as it was revealed. Snickering as the now bewildered Princess Peach stood vexed and confused. Princess Peach removed her red pumps graciously exposing purple swollen kankles, she sat down and spread her legs wide open. She then lifted her chaffed legs in the air and began rubbing them together in standard motion. Creating a barrage of noises that seemed to echo off for miles. Similar to the sound of piercing thunder striking down a tall tree. Princess Daisy was not sure if the sounds were from the outside or the inside of the bus. Princess Peach had cannon kankles and all she had was thunder thighs. She knew what she must do though. Her trump card she had been saving for just the right moment. Princess Daisy laid on her back concentrating really hard on the bubbling sounds in her stomach. Maybe it was the chocolate or maybe the cheese balls from earlier but it had been building for a few hours. Princess Daisy then began to push out. She had been building this massive air pocket in her stomach and it was almost time for imminent release. A gurgling sound surrounded the ambience of the now totally stopped bus. The bus driver had parked the bus just outside the next bus depot. He didn't wanna miss this. Suddenly a boisterous wave of air radiated the inside of the bus and the then horizontal princess was now being propelled up into the air as if an invisible crane had lifted her up. She spread her arms and looked up into the sky as she came hurling forward in a sudden burst of power. The bus driver stood stunned and began to clap vigorously as the princess stood there triumphantly. Truly angelic like he then began to bow willingly. Worshiping the beautiful princess, he prayed that she come back again to ride the bus. A sudden smell of backed up sewage and rotting dead mice filled the room in harmonious influx. Princess Peach had been beaten. Defeated, she took her seat and stared angrily into the outside window as Princess Daisy strided gracefully out the now open bus doors and out into the open world. She wondered, how she got so much power? She watched as the bus then started to take off leaving Princess Daisy in the shadows of the night behind them. She said to herself "this isn't over yet Princess Daisy." Just then the bus driver asked her where to? She replied "the mushroom kingdom." She wanted to get home as quickly as possible to plan the demise of the princess who bested her and made her feel so foolish.


End file.
